Oel ngati kameie

Sometimes I think I can see right trough people and find my own reflection in them. I can have a glimpse at their dreams, flaws, hopes, qualities and fears… It’s not about following a first impression, I know better than that. “I see you and you are so close of seeing me! I mean, really see each other.”… I find a revelation whenever someone amazes me so much, a revelation telling me that the encounter was supposed to happen and that it is written in the sky that we should never part from each others life. I see the only possibility of that person and I being friends for the rest of our lives, because that’s what we’ve been since before, all eternity.

The big problem is, I’m awfully wrong most of the times… In the epiphany I experience when finding that person and getting to know each other, I tend to assume that every hint or suspicion of mine (good or bad) is totally right; being a little prejudiced (it hurts me to admit this, since I hate prejudice) and making  presumptions, I tend to make affirmations instead of asking questions. It’s never my intention to be closed minded, I’m always happy to be proven wrong and learn with that; but I’m learning that people are not so good when they hear “I think you like the color green”, instead of “do you like the color green?”. There’s also a fear of people telling me lies… so my heart believes everything I hear, while my mind is skeptic about everything I hear; so this dual thing makes my thinking and intuition confused.

As I said, I’m learning… I’ll try to keep my revelations under control, my hopes a little lower than the exosphere, and my trust at its best even if it ends up being a bad choice. No matter if that experience lived thanks to a random person is short, maybe it was supposed to be just that, a moment. I believe sometimes we are, for a period of time (short as seconds or long as years) an angel for someone else.


Lights out

No, this is not going to be a romantic post. I’m talking about blackouts… Yes, those happen more often than I wish they did in the place I currently live in. It was that time of the day right in the middle of sunset when the UPS device started beeping; everything outside was tinted in orange and darkness was quickly approaching.

I waited for a while… I started thinking of all the things I could not do; I couldn’t read, I couldn’t drink hot tea, I couldn’t write, I couldn’t do internet related things, I couldn’t go take a walk outside, I couldn’t watch Españoles en el mundo, I couldn’t use the wireless phone… Oh, those days in those places of which my lovely grandparents talk about, when people went to bed at 6 pm and got up at 3 am, and horror tales and making babies were the nightly distractions.

Still no electricity… Eventually, I started the preparation of the “must haves” of the occasion: a flashlight, my cellphone, a candle and matches, a portable DVD player that was -thankfully- on maximum charge, and… my pajamas.

While I looked around and decided what movie to watch, it went totally dark. Some minutes later, in the mighty blackness and totally alone in this house, I sat on the couch… I could see no moon outside, I could clearly hear the crickets outside in the invisible green, and I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my eyes. Then, I started thinking…

I started to think how it is possible for something to exist, or that something to be right in front of you, but nevertheless be unperceived. Many times we do not see or appreciate the things that are right in front of us, and we only notice them when we can’t have them anymore. A clear example was me missing all the possibilities that are represented by a working light-bulb exactly at the moment when a working light-bulb couldn’t be found in a 5 km radius.

Apart from this, a whole field of possibilities is open, it is possible that love, martians, intuition, God, and big foot can exist even if we cannot find a scientific explanation or evidence of their existence. Let’s leave aside thermal detectors, and let’s go all imaginative, sensitive and irrational… What about if I imagine a purple pony flying around the Taj Mahal? If I never told this to anyone, or even if I did, can someone prove that this specific piece of imagination exists? I think that’s what leads me to be agnostic in everything in life, and that’s good and bad. Just to name an example of each, for one thing, I’m a good person but liberated from religious nonsense; and on the other side, I believe in love at first sight.

We should think, appreciate and talk the impossible, the obvious, the childish, the monotonous… even if just for fun. There are perception wideners that work just like darkness in the pupil of the eye. Let’s try our best not to miss them, or even better, not to need them.