Tag Archives: love

Query

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I feel it come. Low voice, slow pace. It comes.

Five seconds that made the blue car stop. Stop for the stray cat’s ninth life’ sake; and then, carry on. Carry on to crash with a momentarily misplaced white car down the road. It’s crucial. In the same way, it won’t go.

Subtle at first, playing with my hair; making me feel the touch I lack of and crave for.

It comes when I wait, while evil monsters play with our hope; so far water splashed but safe on the shore. Evil seeds planted for me eyes to see. Green growing facts only a fool could forever refuse or foresee. One of those envied fools with a velvety heart; unscratched, unnamed for.

It’s a lie, all a plot. Once again. I don’t deserve love. It’s true, what it seemed. I’m alone.

Play that song to me. The one that says what you don’t already know, all what you know, and all we need to know. Calm down the beast, let it find peace again and keep walking this long lonely road. The road that one day, will be no more.

Made up wars

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Take up arms. A new made up war that was planned long time ago by a bunch of brain cells.

Take up arms. In defense of liberty. In defense of profit. In defense of peace. What is real?

Take up arms. The location was unknown until the day that beheld a  revelation had come.

Take up arms. Face the unknown that makes you worry and rant; and calls for teary eyes.

Take up arms. Make plans. Make distances insignificant. Make time spread, as ductile steel.

Take up arms. You bear the unbearable. Wicked pain. You might faint, but strong you remain.

Take up arms. Today, tonight. Tomorrow. I share with you my soul if yours gets stumbled upon.

Only real wars are worth the fight. The only real wars are those from the heart.

He died

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He didn’t wake up one day… When the sunrays came to the window pane, no eyelids blinked back at them.

It was fast and sudden. So sudden, as the impossible always happens. It was a breath taken in the water, in a dream, with silver fish sailing around.

The quietness was not disturbed, the numbness of the crickets’ sounds danced the same way; the starry sky did not turn pale; the air’s density changed for a fraction of second, and the same after that, it remained.

He died, in the dark, with no one aware of the event. No one shed a tear, no one knew; and all because the tears were cried too much in the past.

To Do

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–        Do I love him, grandma? Do I?

A day does not go by without me thinking of him. How perfect we can all get to be seen through loving eyes.

While I daydream, my nonexistent children have his eyebrows, his ears and his hair.

A sweet little word from him is treasured to last for all the days when ordinary words not spoken by poets in love are the only ones that reach my eyes, my ears.

What we’ve had and what we could have, I miss. I selfishly care deeply about his life, may he live long and healthy so I won’t have to miss him even more. I want him to be happy, hoping I can contribute a little with that; and curiously, I’ve discovered that some of that happiness bounces back to me.

I can’t stand him and I want him to change at times. I want him back at those precious minutes that I’ve witnessed. I want him to want time with me, as I do -as I want food-. I want to understand, to bear, not to doubt, to cope… not to want more.

And yet I fail, wanting more.

The feeling of giving up returns along with tears.

Once and again…

–        The thing is, my dear…

Does he love you back?

Here I am

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One sentence brought it all back, waking it up from wherever it was fast asleep, waiting to die. The ache, the anger, the love.

One day made me forget it all. The sugarless drinks, his metallic smile, the errant eyes, the three dogs that lay on his lap.

Papers were torn. Hope was reborn. Gladness to have taken things slow. A relief in not fighting or forcing my heart anymore.

I changed a likeness topicality, for a full of love restrain. It is so hard to control all my senses, that yearn, wait, and don’t have.

My eyes, skin, ears, nose, mouth. Just one? No time for me, no active plans, just a spoken future that doesn’t begin to touch down.

Help me endure. Again, every morrow. Despite, and in decrease, of my neediness, explosiveness, corniness, childishness. Despite it all.

Tell me I am yours, only. Tell me you are mine. Tell me words are meant to become facts. Tell me forever has crossed your mind.

Here I am. Not minding temporary distance. Claiming for a window to the future that will let me see that everything will be fine.

Here I am. Knowing what I want. Sabotaging the good you bestow. Begging my doubt to be wrong; begging for you to shot it down.