You make the time when you care and you open your eyes when you can, when it’s been a long time in the dark, when hoping didn’t give you much back.
And the shore is wide, the tide is back, and the mountain’s shadow is all around.
That, time. Healer, slayer. Dawn after dawn.
I feel it come. Low voice, slow pace. It comes.
Five seconds that made the blue car stop. Stop for the stray cat’s ninth life’ sake; and then, carry on. Carry on to crash with a momentarily misplaced white car down the road. It’s crucial. In the same way, it won’t go.
Subtle at first, playing with my hair; making me feel the touch I lack of and crave for.
It comes when I wait, while evil monsters play with our hope; so far water splashed but safe on the shore. Evil seeds planted for me eyes to see. Green growing facts only a fool could forever refuse or foresee. One of those envied fools with a velvety heart; unscratched, unnamed for.
It’s a lie, all a plot. Once again. I don’t deserve love. It’s true, what it seemed. I’m alone.
Play that song to me. The one that says what you don’t already know, all what you know, and all we need to know. Calm down the beast, let it find peace again and keep walking this long lonely road. The road that one day, will be no more.
And so the title spoke, in the same subtle way the wind speaks to my sunburnt back.
A new year has begun. They go by so fast, as professional runners in a marathon.
Things are as they are, and they will be what they will be.
You only have hope, that helps you move on and look ahead with latent joy.
The stars set oddness as my company for life, what a delight!, what a bluff!
But hush there, listen… The best is yet to come.
Life is very good right now. Life could be better though.
New experiences and new hopes have been born. But also some of the old; the secondary clock in my computer is still set on Amsterdam’s time.
The alarm goes off in the mornings, waking up is as difficult as ever, but there is so much to look forward during a working day.
Yet… I’m in love with love. Feelings imitate chameleons. What’s up? Move on, walk on, fight, grow. Keep hoping for the best, prepare for the worst.
Dearest ally and enemy, oh clock.
Unsuccessfully repressed anger. A constant and unrelated -if soft- headache.
Awake. Sleep chasing after me. Do not think. Do not feel. The bird and the fish.
Frustration that built up with desires of flesh and soul that have not been met.
I have not failed to see the easy coming beauty. Precious ephemeral rose beds.
Memory needs strength. The reasons. The differences. The love. The needs.
Life. Mind. Heart. Body. Trusted to a sense of certainty. Certainty and hope.
But cursed I am. Cursed it is. The feeling. Curiosity met by creators of doubt.
No one understands. Compounds. Same elements. Different arrangement.
Tears have stopped coming down while seated in uncomfortable bus rides.
The kite has been cut from the cord. Repeat the words. I do not care anymore.
Let it hurt. Let it burn. After one -only one lifetime- it will be gone. Almost it all.